The Golf Club Locker Room

Several men are in the locker room of a golf club. 
A cell phone on a bench rings and a man engages 
the hands free speaker function and begins to talk. 
Everyone else in the room stops to listen.

MAN: ‘Hello’

WOMAN: ‘Honey, it’s me. Are you at the club?’

MAN: ‘Yes’

WOMAN: ‘I am at the mall now and found this 
beautiful leather coat. It’s only $1,000. Is it OK 
if I buy it?’

MAN: ‘Sure, go ahead if you like it that much.’

WOMAN: ‘I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership 
and saw the new 2009 models. I saw one I really liked.’

MAN: ‘How much?’

WOMAN: ‘$390,000’

MAN: ‘OK, but for that price I want it with all the options.’

WOMAN: ‘Great! Oh, and one more thing….the house I 
wanted last year is back on the market. They’re asking 
$2,950,000′ for it.

MAN: ‘Well, then go ahead and give them an offer of 
$2,800,000. They will probably take it. If not, we can go 
the extra $150,000 if it’s really a pretty good price.’

WOMAN: ‘OK. I’ll see you later! I love you so much!’

MAN: ‘Bye! I love you, too.’

The man hangs up. The other men in the locker room are 
staring at him in astonishment, mouths agape.

He turns and asks: ‘Anyone know who this phone belongs to?

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Meaning behind car brands…

FIAT: Failure in Italian Automotive Technology.

FORD: For Only Rough Drivers.

HYUNDAI: Hope You Understand Nothing’s Drivable And Inexpensive….

VOLVO: Very Odd Looking Vehicular Object.

PORSCHE: Proof Of Rich Spoiled Children Having Everything.

OPEL: Old People Enjoying Life

TOYOTA: The One You Only Trust, Always.

HONDA: Hanged Over, Now Driving Away.

BMW: Big Money Waste

AUDI : An unwanted debt invitation

Mercedes: Maximum enthusiasm , recurring cost, ego developed, eagerness to sell.

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This student deserves an award !

True or False?

True or False? Lauffmao !!!

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Forgetful wife…

After a meeting I was coming out of a hotel and I was looking for my car keys. They were not in my pockets. A quick search in the meeting room… it wasn’t there.

Suddenly I realized I must have left them in the car. My husband has shouted many times for leaving the keys in the ignition. My theory is, the ignition is the best place not to lose them. His theory is that the car will be stolen. Immediately I rushed to the parking lot, I came to a terrifying conclusion. His theory was right. The parking lot was empty.

I immediately called the police. I gave them my location, car number and description of the place where I parked etc. I equally confessed that I had left my keys in the car, and that it had been stolen.

Then I made the most difficult call of all, to my husband!!!

“Honey,” I stammered; I always call him “honey” in times like these.

“I left my keys in the car, and it has been stolen.

” There was a period of silence. I thought the call had been dropped, but then I heard his voice.

“Idiot”, he shouted, “I dropped you at the hotel !”

Now it was my time to be silent. Embarrassed, I said, “Well, come and get me.”

He shouted again, “I will, as soon as I manage to convince this policeman that I have not stolen your car.”

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Police vs Small Boy … Hilarious !

I can understand how does the police feels! Lauffmao !!!

Police: Where do you live?

Small boy: With my parents.

Police: Where do your parents live?

Small boy: With me.

Police: And where do you all live?

Small boy: Together

Police: Where is Your Home?

Small boy: Beside my neighbors’ house.

Police: Where is your neighbors’ house?

Small boy: If I tell you, you will not believe me.

Police: Tell us?

Small boy: Next to my house…

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A very funny online scam… read on…

lauffmao !!!

Man buys penis enlarger, gets magnifying glass instead

MCA Public Service and Complaint Bureau chairman Datuk Seri Michael Chong said Tuesday that the disgruntled customer, known only as Ong from Seri Kembangan, had paid RM450 for the penis enlarger. 

“When he received the package, he was shocked to find a magnifying glass inside.

“The instructions that came with the package merely read ‘Do not use in sunlight’,” he said.

 

Chong told reporters that Ong was one of many who have fallen prey to online scams of this sort.

“Men and women are equally vulnerable to these scams. Three people lost a total of more than RM80,000 to these scams this year alone,” he said. 

Chong added that scammers lure their victims by selling their products at a low price and very often, the items never get to their customers.

Lawyer Alex Kok said that unsatisfied customers who wished to sue these scammers would find it difficult to do so due to the dubious nature of the business.

“It is especially hard if there is no proof of purchase, such as receipts.

“We wouldn’t know who to sue or where and how to sue them,” he added.

12 victims of online scams have sought assistance from the MCA Public Service and Complaint Bureau since 2012.

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Learn from this kid – how to intelligently answer to interrogation questions!

Police: Where do you live?
Small boy: with my parents.
Police: Where do your parents live?
Small boy: with me.
Police: And where do you live all?
Small boy: Together
Police: Where is Your Home?
Small: Beside my neighbors’ house.
Police: Where is your neighbors’ house?
Small boy: if I tell you, you will not believe me.
Police: tell me?
Small boy: next to my house. …..

LAUFFMAO !!!

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